Monday, May 12, 2014

About Me- About a Lot of Us

At the age of 28, going on almost a yr ago, I began to spiral into depression. Struggling to pay bills, my daughter being diagnosed with autism, my job just a job with a not so nice boss, not really thinking about or having any dreams or aspirations , I fell into a rut. I had always been pretty much happy-dancer, captain of a dance team, chorus member, cheerleader, magnet dancer, a messenger for the Florida house of representatives, graduating with an A.A. in nursing, a B.S. in Sociology from a prestigious university, a fiancee who loves me and two beautiful children; I still feel unaccomplished.  I was analyzing my life and finding that I had hit a plateau. Let me go back, I felt this because though I know I have been blessed and  well rounded, I was without focus. Not really truly confident to pursue any area, I am struggling to find "my career" or develop a sense of accomplishment as an "adult". I don't want to come off as complaining, but I feel like I peaked in high school and college. All the awards I've won and prestige were in my youth. I look at my children and want them to see me as a successful something? I will be their loving mother and I know that should be enough, but I guess what also made me feel this way were old friends I've seen at my age with careers, passion for something, even my mother followed her dream of writing-becoming a blogger (@ her then age of 49) something that not everyone supported (including myself, although I didn't come out and say it); I was and am actually very proud of her. The guts it took to quit her "cozy,stable" job to blog. It was shocking, but not surprising; my mom was always eccentric in her way- I love her regardless. Now, here I am following her, supporting her and proud of her accomplishments.  In this short period she has shined and does not let her fears over take her. Unlike me. But fear drives us to be better, do better, and so here I am hoping you'll follow me on my journey of finding my voice and hopefully not offending in the process. Or coming off as a privileged snob, that is not my intention. I am struggling, like I believe many people who are trying to find their paths in this world, hoping our next decision is better than our last. 

Thank you for your warm welcome to the blogosphere and I hope you continue to read and see where I go from here. As my mom would say, a gigasecond of gratitude.  

And my closing for those who don't see my brilliance - I sorry con ehcuse meh! Salud, fuerza y union.  ♥♥♥

21 comments:

  1. Couldn't be prouder of you. "The strength is not in never falling, it's in getting up from the ground." You are never alone or by yourself mija Bella, and you do have the strength. Be happy; you well know that above all else this is what we want our children to be. Siempre abrazandote, wherever I may be. BB2U ALWAYS

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    1. Thanks ma. You're always giving me the support I need and lending a hand. Appreciate your love and am glad to have joined you in "the dark side." LOL xoxo

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  2. Your mom is awesome. And for your...keep living...there is no greater joy than live, love your kids, your family and don't follow what the society or public opinion dictates. Look for the Lord for guidance and wisdom...and he will give it to you to serve Him and be complete.

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    1. Thank you Mayra. I am slowly but surely following the word of God and learning every day. Thank you again for your kind words.

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  3. Very proud of you as well for your candor! You'll hang in there! And your mom calls me her captain but she has been a leader for me many times. Be well and move forward!

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    1. Thank you for taking the time to comment. You also be well and we must keep moving forward. xoxo

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  4. You're a strong woman. Keep on!

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  5. Good luck in your journey, believe in yourself and remember you´re not alone! Besos

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    1. Thank you for your words of encouragement and for the reminder. Besitos to you too.

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    1. Thank you, a little tough to start, but will get the hang of it.

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  7. Welcome, welcome, welcome! Mucha fuerza y muchos éxitos.

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    1. Thank you. Have received warm welcomes very excited. Gracias por su fuerza para seguir en my journey. : )

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    1. Muchas gracias. Seguire adelante. No se puede dar marcha atras.

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  9. Welcome! Enjoy this beautiful world!

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    1. Thank you Diana. Enjoying as I continue on my path to happiness.

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  10. Welcome, congratulations!! And keep om going!

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    1. Thank you Romina for commenting and visiting. Will keep it going ; )

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  11. I just got all teary eyed! It is so awesome that you are sharing your journey and I hope that in sharing it you will find that path that you are meant to follow. I just want to say one thing, do not look to "accomplishments" and "awards" given by others as a measure of your success, look inside and follow your dreams no matter what they are, follow your passions .... it's never too late. Bienvenida a la blogosphere un abrazote para ti y uno for you dancing mama.

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