At the age of 28, going on almost a yr ago, I began to spiral into depression. Struggling to pay bills, my daughter being diagnosed with autism, my job just a job with a not so nice boss, not really thinking about or having any dreams or aspirations , I fell into a rut. I had always been pretty much happy-dancer, captain of a dance team, chorus member, cheerleader, magnet dancer, a messenger for the Florida house of representatives, graduating with an A.A. in nursing, a B.S. in Sociology from a prestigious university, a fiancee who loves me and two beautiful children; I still feel unaccomplished. I was analyzing my life and finding that I had hit a plateau. Let me go back, I felt this because though I know I have been blessed and well rounded, I was without focus. Not really truly confident to pursue any area, I am struggling to find "my career" or develop a sense of accomplishment as an "adult". I don't want to come off as complaining, but I feel like I peaked in high school and college. All the awards I've won and prestige were in my youth. I look at my children and want them to see me as a successful something? I will be their loving mother and I know that should be enough, but I guess what also made me feel this way were old friends I've seen at my age with careers, passion for something, even my mother followed her dream of writing-becoming a blogger (@ her then age of 49) something that not everyone supported (including myself, although I didn't come out and say it); I was and am actually very proud of her. The guts it took to quit her "cozy,stable" job to blog. It was shocking, but not surprising; my mom was always eccentric in her way- I love her regardless. Now, here I am following her, supporting her and proud of her accomplishments. In this short period she has shined and does not let her fears over take her. Unlike me. But fear drives us to be better, do better, and so here I am hoping you'll follow me on my journey of finding my voice and hopefully not offending in the process. Or coming off as a privileged snob, that is not my intention. I am struggling, like I believe many people who are trying to find their paths in this world, hoping our next decision is better than our last.
Thank you for your warm welcome to the blogosphere and I hope you continue to read and see where I go from here. As my mom would say, a gigasecond of gratitude.
And my closing for those who don't see my brilliance - I sorry con ehcuse meh! Salud, fuerza y union. ♥♥♥